Searching For My Sole Mate

Tonight I was pondering one of humanities biggest mysteries. No not who built the pyramids, how did the Universe begin, what causes the Bermuda Triangle or where is Atlantis. What I'm speaking of began in the 8th Century BC and is still as enigma in 2010. The ultimate question with out answer is "Where has my other sock gone?" Apparently, I'm not the only one pondering this issue with such resolve. The army started a Bureau of Missing Socks in 1861 and 149 years later they are still in existence. Sure I can figure out whodunit long before the show ends but could an amateur like myself solve a mystery that has perplexed the greatest military strategist for so long? What could I do buy my own blood hound? Place a tracking device in each sock? Pray to Saint Anthony? Have my own show...The Laundry's Most Wanted? Of course the most efficient way not to lose a sock is probably not to wear them in the first place.

Borders on Insanity

Well, the secret is out! Today I realized why book stores are losing money and on-line sales are booming. Sure I wanted to purchase some books but the insanity that was around me was overwhelming and it was fight or flight, so I left.  One aisle had three teenagers lying in it, sure I wanted to look at the books there but who wants to tell three surly teens to vacate. When I went to go see another section I ran into some kids playing hide and seek, which was only compounded by a new game which I named "Scream As Loud As You Can".  I didn't see the rule book but I think the point of "SALAYC" was to try and hit a note that would break aglass.  And let me tell you these kids were darn good at it, I'm thinking they might have been first round draft choices. Of course the funniest moment came when I walked down one row of books and saw these two teens expressing their feelings for each other. They both had a look of shock on their faces like I walked into their living room. As I headed towards the door, I saw an employee breaking up a group of teens choreographing a scene from Glee. I remarked to him that the store was bedlam, he agreed and told me it stops a lot of people from purchasing. I agreed and left empty handed.

Wash With Like Colors

Most of the time I make rational decisions. Except for some reason when I was in a rush for a table cloth I picked up something that I totally regretted after I used it. Sure it looked nice and summery but after use it required laundering and I was in trouble. Yes, I did actually read the directions which stated "wash with like colors". Now that seems to be a problem. Where can I get colors that are "like" that? At first I was perplexed but then I thought about it and came up with several solutions! Wait until the circus came to town and offer to wash the clown costumes - see if the Houston Astro's want to reactivate their uniforms from 1974, you remember them sort of looked like a solar flare landed on the player's chests - see if there is a Jackson Pollack protege who needs free laundry services. Of course my most feasible option is spend $1.75 and wash it alone.