You Must Be This Wide To Ride

As a small child in an amusement park, you match your height against that of the sign next to a ride to see if you qualify. As an adult we also come up against the size barrier. When we were children we fooled ourselves to think we could qualify by standing up straight or on our tippy toes and hope the teen operating the ride overlooked this slight exaggeration. Pushing the envelope as an adult is a bit more difficult. We fool ourselves into thinking that we can squeeze our morbidly obese figure into subway seats designed for people half our size, hoping the person next to us doesn't realize.

Impulse Conversing

Sure I'm wise to the tricks of stores where they place items near the check out so while you are waiting on line all of a sudden you need a bunch of candy bars and a gossip magazine. What I have yet to figure out is why when I'm waiting on line strangers strike up a conversation, one you usually want no part of.  Today I ordered cannolis at the bakery. This immediately set off a red flag to the woman on line ahead of me. Cannolis? They sell cannolis here? Well, I'm Italian and I wouldn't buy cannolis here, if I want cannolis I go to Brooklyn. Wait I'm trying to remember if I asked her ethnic origin. Did I ask where she buys cannolis? No frankly I wasn't even thinking "I wonder if the lady in front of me is Italian and where does she buy cannolis"? Honestly, I was thinking I wish the counter help would hurry up and get my cannolis so I could be on my way. So nosy lady I hope you are reading my blog because I bought the cannolis and they were delicious!!!!!! Oh and by the way I'm Italian!