Things I've Learned from the ID Channel

1. Never go to Home Depot and purchase a 55 gallon blue drum prior to committing a murder especially on a credit card. Because Home Depot has video cameras and all credit card transactions are recorded.

2. If you murder your first spouse do not murder the second one, that creates a pattern.

3. Don't take a romantic get away with your significant other to a desolate area that involves cliffs. You will be the first suspect if they "accidentally" slip and fall to their death.

4. Don't have $100,000 in debt but your honey's $1 million life insurance is paid on time every month.

5. Never say your wife left the house or you last saw her at the house, when she is gone but her pocketbook, cell phone, keys and car are still there.

6. Telling the police you and your significant other encountered an intruder, car jacker or mugger rapidly falls apart if your partner is in critical condition and you are suffer from a graze wound.

7. Do not conduct an Internet search of "How to Kill Someone Without Leaving Evidence".

8. Write a shopping list that includes: Toothpaste, Sawed off Shot Gun, Soda

9. Never notate in any calendar, the initials of the person you murdered and "Project Completed".

Baby it's cold outside!

Sure it's winter but the past few days have been brutal. In the single negative numbers. Luckily, I have my great tips from the news on how to dress appropriately. What would you think they advise? Wear a hat? Scarf? Warm coat? Mittens? Oh no they reported you should wear "dry" loose fitting clothing. OH THANK GOD! Because I had just pulled some clothes out of the washer and was attempting to exit the house into the below freezing weather. Seriously, if you head out side in this in anything but dry clothes expect to freeze in place as you exit your home!

Then what is it?????

I use to pass this store frequently, perplexed by the words on the door. To me they were an oxymoron. What is a door if not an entrance or an exit?

Even more mystifying, the picture is taken from outside, so the name is inside. I'm thinking if you are inside, shouldn't you know where you are already? Oh and having the hours on the outside might also be helpful!

Let me tell you how much money I saved!

 Just returned from the kitchen and made myself a heated sandwich. No, I didn't save a bundle on a pannini maker at a Grey Thursday or Black Friday Sale.

Wrong again! I did not order the sandwich maker from the comfort of my own couch from those enticing TV commercials.

Nope, I did not use a fancy contraption as pictured above.
I made the sandwich in something known as a frying pan. Remember them? When I was a kid that's how we made grilled cheese. And frankly, you can use them still to make any sort of hot sandwich and save yourself a bundle!
I didn't even use a fancy contraption as pictured above.

Spam-a lot

Who knew there was a tremendous market for luncheon meats? Cans galore and a plethora of varieties! Less sodium, jalapeno, turkey, spicy, beef, pork, hickory smoked, Teriyaki and the list goes on... The idea of eating meat from a can is extremely unappetizing for me and maybe you as well.
No flavor could ever entice me. But in the interest of full disclosure, most foods I eat do not emanate from a can they are usually fresh. Other extremely canned items are potatoes, zucchini, carrots...
I'm guessing if Armageddon comes I'm in big trouble!

Proof reading, a dead art.

I removed the following line from a police blotter, omitting the town in which it occurred. I would venture a guess that this was not reviewed by the author or an editor prior to publication.
"A man awoke early Tuesday morning to use the bathroom, only to find a burglar ruffling through his wife's purse, police said."
Then I thought to myself, ruffling usually refers to feathers as in making someone annoyed. Of course there are ruffles, like on a frilly dress or potato chips.
Ah is the word rifling? As in:

1. To search with intent to steal.

2. To ransack or plunder; pillage.

3. To rob.

Seeing is believing...

This amazing art was displayed at a well known museum.

These stunning pictures are also from the same artist.
Personally, I find the work stunning and of course it goes with any motif. There is no need to stand there wondering: "Will this clash with my couch?" "Does it match the bedroom drapes?" "How would it look on my walls?"
And if you still are not sure it will work in your home you can easily demonstrate how if will look in your abode. Follow my directions closely for best results. First, take a piece of copy paper. Second hold it up to your wall. Next decide if it works with your decor. Good luck!
Purchasing these pictures for your home can take all the guess work out of decorating.