St. Joseph's Day

Today is my favorite holiday of all! Sure some people like Christmas because Santa comes and gives you lots of presents. Then there are birthday's where you are the center of attention. Easter with a countless amount of candy from the Bunny and Thanksgiving where you eat until you feel like exploding. But my favorite is St Joseph's Day because it's the only time you can get pastries that look like giant donuts stuffed with custard or cannoli cream.

Boxing Match

Most will find this shocking but apparently Naomi Campbell assaulted her chauffer today and the NYPD is looking for her. They ran down the list of people she has previously assaulted and she has been in more matches then Mike Tyson, as well as treated for anger management. Naomi, you missed your calling. Sure it probably wasn't a feasible career when you started out, so you took to modeling. But seriously boxing could be your second career. Or even better,  celebrity ultimate fighting. I smell a reality show in this for you Naomi.

We never suspected...

Seriously, I am so sick and tired of some major catastrophe happening, then hearing the people surrounding it responding like blinded horses who "Never knew this could happen". The latest drama driving me insane is the one regarding Amy Bishop. You're familiar with her story, they would not give her tenure so went to school with a gun and killed three colleagues. Her family said they were shocked by this act. OK - listen up people here was your first clue. She killed her brother when a shotgun "accidentally" went off. Read up about shotguns, they can not "accidentally" go off.  After just watching the news they cited numerous incidents involving responses to her house, as well as an incident in IHOP where she assaulted a woman. Sure we all like perfect pancakes and I get pretty grumpy myself when I am hungry although I find physical violence a bit over board. But this was actually over a woman taking the last booster seat. Annoying yes, but punishable by assault, I think not. So please people if you know someone like this here is a hint, they are a ticking time bomb and need help. And if you don't help them, please don't stand around after the fact saying "I didn't know" because you did.

Religious Messages

Lately, I've been inundated by religious messages. First, was "Obey God" which was meet shortly thereafter by "GDISKIND". Then  "John 3 3" which I googled and found out says "In reply Jesus declared, 'I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again'". Where are all these messages coming from? Some great religious sage? An ancient book of wisdom? No, actually they are sent to me by the DMV. They were all on license plates which I found totally bizarre. Didn't we separate church and state ages ago? Poor God, limited to 8 characters or less which probably means we will not be seeing any quotes from Deuteronomy.

Record Deal

Tonight on the train ride home I thought I was going to be treated to another pan handler vocalist. However, he finished and walked the car to tell his story, he was an aspiring singer looking for a record deal. Usually, he didn't perform on the E train - he's more of an R train man. Is that sort of like when Bruce Springsteen goes back to play The Stone Pony instead of Madison Square Garden? He said you never know who you are going to meet. Which made me think, I've seen a music mogul on the 1 and 2 train.Last month it was the V train on which I spotted the mogul. But so far, never on the E.

Fruit Scented Bubbles

OK - Please tell me why you would combine the scent of fruit with soap? As far as I know, the majority of bubble users are small children who like to put things in their mouths. Now I do not have any degrees in childrearing but to me this sounds like a particularly dumb idea. But then again, I did find them in the dollar store so maybe there were not a top seller.

Target

Target opens at 8 am which is awesome. But today I decided to be fashionably late, arriving at 9 am. Seriously, who would have thought there would be around 50 cars in the lot. Then it dawned on me, they were all probably driving to Target while I was chatting on Facebook. Once I got into the store I realized the bigger difference between me and many of the pseudo-early risers. The problem - I'm seriously old fashion because I get up, take a shower and put on clothes - these people were still wearing their pajamas. Is there a petition circulating to ban adults from wearing PJ's in public because I want to sign it.