Wet Cement

Living in NYC there are plenty of times I encounter freshly poured cement. It's always roped off, or even guarded to avoid anyone making it less then pristine. Sure it's tempting to maybe place yourself in perpetuity. Honestly, I have never done it myself but often the craving has arisen. So the other day when I saw a man place his boots in a fresh patch, I understood why. Upon closer examination of these "boot prints" I became alarmed. They weren't foot prints in a Grauman's Chinese Theater version,  well they really weren't foot prints at all. They were just two huge smudge prints, which would have given you the same result had you dragged a dirty eraser across a chalk board. Now I was sort of annoyed at him because I understood wanting to get your 15 minutes of fame, but that was more like 15 minutes of blame.

Super Hero Mode

Apparently, I have a skill that only Wonder Woman's plane and Burt Campbell from Soap seem to possess. Yes, I too can become invisible. However, I'm not really sure the plane and Burt really were invisible where I can prove time and time again that I on the other hand am often unseen.
Just this morning I brought my car in for service and was standing there waiting when some one came over and handed the customer behind me a number and me the number after him. Mr. Clean's bigger, buffer brother was in the process of jockeying cars around when he some how saw this (maybe he was in super hero mode), and came over to re-numerate the line. He asked the ticket dispenser why he skipped me. Now the manager came out and became involved and this became so absurd as they were sorting out who was next, I stood on the side and watched.  Mr. Clean seemed to have the answer, he removed the lower number ticket from the other employee's hand and put it on my car. Problem solved. Thanks Mr. Clean you are my HERO!!!

St. Joseph's Day

Today is my favorite holiday of all! Sure some people like Christmas because Santa comes and gives you lots of presents. Then there are birthday's where you are the center of attention. Easter with a countless amount of candy from the Bunny and Thanksgiving where you eat until you feel like exploding. But my favorite is St Joseph's Day because it's the only time you can get pastries that look like giant donuts stuffed with custard or cannoli cream.

Boxing Match

Most will find this shocking but apparently Naomi Campbell assaulted her chauffer today and the NYPD is looking for her. They ran down the list of people she has previously assaulted and she has been in more matches then Mike Tyson, as well as treated for anger management. Naomi, you missed your calling. Sure it probably wasn't a feasible career when you started out, so you took to modeling. But seriously boxing could be your second career. Or even better,  celebrity ultimate fighting. I smell a reality show in this for you Naomi.

We never suspected...

Seriously, I am so sick and tired of some major catastrophe happening, then hearing the people surrounding it responding like blinded horses who "Never knew this could happen". The latest drama driving me insane is the one regarding Amy Bishop. You're familiar with her story, they would not give her tenure so went to school with a gun and killed three colleagues. Her family said they were shocked by this act. OK - listen up people here was your first clue. She killed her brother when a shotgun "accidentally" went off. Read up about shotguns, they can not "accidentally" go off.  After just watching the news they cited numerous incidents involving responses to her house, as well as an incident in IHOP where she assaulted a woman. Sure we all like perfect pancakes and I get pretty grumpy myself when I am hungry although I find physical violence a bit over board. But this was actually over a woman taking the last booster seat. Annoying yes, but punishable by assault, I think not. So please people if you know someone like this here is a hint, they are a ticking time bomb and need help. And if you don't help them, please don't stand around after the fact saying "I didn't know" because you did.

Religious Messages

Lately, I've been inundated by religious messages. First, was "Obey God" which was meet shortly thereafter by "GDISKIND". Then  "John 3 3" which I googled and found out says "In reply Jesus declared, 'I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again'". Where are all these messages coming from? Some great religious sage? An ancient book of wisdom? No, actually they are sent to me by the DMV. They were all on license plates which I found totally bizarre. Didn't we separate church and state ages ago? Poor God, limited to 8 characters or less which probably means we will not be seeing any quotes from Deuteronomy.

Record Deal

Tonight on the train ride home I thought I was going to be treated to another pan handler vocalist. However, he finished and walked the car to tell his story, he was an aspiring singer looking for a record deal. Usually, he didn't perform on the E train - he's more of an R train man. Is that sort of like when Bruce Springsteen goes back to play The Stone Pony instead of Madison Square Garden? He said you never know who you are going to meet. Which made me think, I've seen a music mogul on the 1 and 2 train.Last month it was the V train on which I spotted the mogul. But so far, never on the E.