Caliente

Tonight this woman in the bar thought she was the hottest thing around.
Her boyfriend an her were arguing and he followed her into the ladies room when the bouncer dragged him out.
The boyfriend said he would kill himself with out her.
The bouncer said this is to much drama for a Tuesday night!!!! Agreed!!

Bobble Head Subway Rider

This morning as I tried to maintain an upright position in the rush to enter the subway car a man with a weekend suitcase was next to me. It was Wednesday so I wasn't sure if he was going to work or heading out for a holiday. Luckily he sat next to me, on the other side of a pole separating the seats but managed to encroach upon my space.
As soon as he sat he opened a can wrapped in a black shopping bag hidden in his suitcase and inserted a straw. He furiously slurped down the beverage which I was able to ascertain was an energy drink. Almost as quickly as the drinking frenzy started it ended. And in this time I was able to see within his open weekender bag that it contained many newspapers and more plastic bags. Oh great I'm seated next to a traveling hoarder!
Now begins the transformation, immediately he begins to nod off. Fortunately for me he is a front to back nodded and not a side to side one. And there he sits for the rest of the ride, his body coursing with caffeine while he enjoys a quick cat nap on the way to work!

Yelp This!

Today everyone turns to the reviews of others to see what shoes to wear, restaurant to visit and movie to see. But have you read these reviews? There is so much non-sense contained in them. Case in point I was just reading reviews of snow boots. My main concerns are warmth, comfort and waterproof. The reviewers have so much more to tell. For example " I bought these boots, they lace up but I wanted zippers. My mother swears by this brand and I ordered them from a different website then her."
STOP! I'm two sentences into a review and it's already filled with gobble gook, I can only assume more is to come and stop reading it.
Or for a restaurant "My husband and I were looking for a new place to eat. It was raining that night. We didn't want to go far because the windshield wipers were not working. Finally we found a place. I got out of the car and stepped into a puddle." I can already see if this restaurant was Michelin rated she would not approve - NEXT!
People stick to the facts, imagine the old police show Dragnet, "just the facts ma'am" not five years of non-essential back story with a most confusing ending as in the case of Lost!!!

Just add salesman...

I really do not look have to look far to find some interesting material for my blog. Even a trip to the local drug store can result in some extremely humorous posts!Until I saw this little bottle I thought it was a cliche but here in the aisles of my local pharmacy I found it!

Labels...

Seriously, I would like to speak to the people who write the verbiage for food to inform them they need a new line of work. Hopefully, they don't work long and hard to come up with the ridiculous wording. Take for example this package of cheese:

"Fresh Cheese" How awesome is that? I guess it's save to assume then it is not bleu cheese because that is less then fresh. Frankly it's actually the opposite maybe you want to use the word rotting. Of course I believe the marketing people would reject it since it may lower sales!

Another brilliant package is the canned ham I found in my local pharmacy:

Any type of meat that is "premium" can be found at your local butcher, not in a can.

Steal the sign...leave the frame!

Passed by this sign and others like it several times. Love that it was chained to the post so no one could steal the frame but the actual sign....well they got that!

Do I look like I work here?

Every time I walk into a store or any other public place that provides a service I am constantly asked by another shopper or visitor where something is located or how to work something.
Just now a woman in the library asked me how to work the computer. Actually she was standing in front of a monitor listing the library's activities, so I did polite inform her I thought the computers were in the next room.
Not one visit to a store goes by with out a fellow customer asking me what aisle a product is located in. Ok maybe they are confused and I look like someone who is helpful but honestly, I'm not. My favorite is on a Sunday morning in a certain department store when they seek my assistance. I don't even own a pair of brown khakis and a red polo shirt! But then again I'm generally fully clothed while they are still in their pajamas. After all it is 8 am!