Celebrity Excuses

Poor Paris Hilton, pulled over by police because they smelled marijuana smoke "wafting" from her car. Once stopped,  they also found cocaine in her handbag, first off she said she thought it was chewing gum and then confessed that the hand bag wasn't hers because well in her words "it's to cheap".  In the interest of assisting Ms. Hilton's defense team, I did some research myself on the probability of confusing the two. As a crack investigator I plugged into Google "Does chewing gum come in powder form?" Well, lo and behold the second hit was cocaine from Wikipedia! Apparently, the indigenous people of South America have been chewing the leaves of the coca plant for over a thousand years so to me it's crystal clear how she could be confused. Next I'm working to help strengthen Linsday Lohan's case when she stated the pants she was wearing weren't hers or probably my toughest case Tom Sizemore who claimed the Calvin undies he had on weren't his because he's a Hilfiger man. I have to admit more then once I've accidentally worn my clothes inside out or even backwards, but luckily I've never had the misfortune of running around town in some one else's undergarments.