You have to love the weather people!

Seriously, whats up with this? Don't they ever get anything right?

Oh by the way it's Monday!

Apparently, I've been keeping my utensils in the wrong place!

Call me crazy but I always place my utensils in the cabinet drawer in the kitchen. How was I to know that it's not appropriate for all implements. Luckily I was enlightened on a recent trip to a bargain store.

See I'll bet you didn't know you needed a cage for chopsticks either!

Hey I think your employee went AWOL!

At first I thought some one just rested this sign down on the ground.

But days later it's still laying on the ground. Maybe they don't even know the sign holder quit. Even funnier, the sign is no where near the restaurant!

I'm So Demanding!

Apparently, it's my fault that my work computer does not work and the IT Department is bickering over it. I know it's true because they tell me every day. My computers major issue is it can not print to my printer. But to alleviate the issue I have been told to use a "work around". That's something the user has to do when the IT Department is to incompetent to resolve the issue. I never heard of it before but they are big on silly buzz words.
So every time I need to print I have to go and select my printer, otherwise it prints down the hall. Call me crazy but seriously why is so difficult to resolve? Shouldn't there be some adjustment in the printer setting? I'm just saying it sounds like a reasonable question.
Of course that is just one of the departments issues. After hiring an incompetent consultant to implement a software program, I gave them a list of outstanding issues that needed to be addressed. They came back and stated that they were "advocating" for me. Call me crazy but asking someone to do their job should be a requirement, advocating should be saved for death row inmates.
Next they insisted the project was complete and the consultant completed her job, I just needed "care and feeding". To which I responded "Am I now a polar bear at the zoo"?
If you need some extra cash just come and implement software for us, you don't need any experience just bring your best buzzwords!

Be Not Afraid

Sure I take my life in my hands everyday on the subway, but today I was particularly scared. Generally when a subway announcement is made it's in audible. Think Charlie Brown's teacher. However today the conductor announced in a strong, clear voice "Ladies and Gentlemen do not be afraid". Oh no! what could it be? A suspicious package? A fire? Quick! Quick! Locate the nearest exit. Then he says "to use all subway doors when exiting and entering the train." OMG buddy what's wrong with you, we're you absent the day they taught Announcing 101 at conductor school?

It's the Gym People!

Just got back from the gym and saw my neighbor working out in sandals. Well I wouldn't refer to it as working out because he just does a few minutes on the stairmaster and leaves. So I guess it doesn't matter how his feet are attired aside from the fact that an accident may cause significant damage to his feet and I'm sure he will be more then happy to blame it on faulty gym equipment.
My other favorite sighting at the gym is the woman who reads the NY Times on the treadmill. I would say she's pretty talented except she walks at a snails pace. My theory is she goes to the gym to escape her husband and my theory proved correct when he banged on the door the other evening and she ran to his signal. Of course Super Woman is the best example of gym insanity. She is on the treadmill, running, reading a magazine, listening to her music, while the gym music pounds in the background. I'm really curious how much reading she is actually completing.