We never suspected...

Seriously, I am so sick and tired of some major catastrophe happening, then hearing the people surrounding it responding like blinded horses who "Never knew this could happen". The latest drama driving me insane is the one regarding Amy Bishop. You're familiar with her story, they would not give her tenure so went to school with a gun and killed three colleagues. Her family said they were shocked by this act. OK - listen up people here was your first clue. She killed her brother when a shotgun "accidentally" went off. Read up about shotguns, they can not "accidentally" go off.  After just watching the news they cited numerous incidents involving responses to her house, as well as an incident in IHOP where she assaulted a woman. Sure we all like perfect pancakes and I get pretty grumpy myself when I am hungry although I find physical violence a bit over board. But this was actually over a woman taking the last booster seat. Annoying yes, but punishable by assault, I think not. So please people if you know someone like this here is a hint, they are a ticking time bomb and need help. And if you don't help them, please don't stand around after the fact saying "I didn't know" because you did.

Religious Messages

Lately, I've been inundated by religious messages. First, was "Obey God" which was meet shortly thereafter by "GDISKIND". Then  "John 3 3" which I googled and found out says "In reply Jesus declared, 'I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again'". Where are all these messages coming from? Some great religious sage? An ancient book of wisdom? No, actually they are sent to me by the DMV. They were all on license plates which I found totally bizarre. Didn't we separate church and state ages ago? Poor God, limited to 8 characters or less which probably means we will not be seeing any quotes from Deuteronomy.

Record Deal

Tonight on the train ride home I thought I was going to be treated to another pan handler vocalist. However, he finished and walked the car to tell his story, he was an aspiring singer looking for a record deal. Usually, he didn't perform on the E train - he's more of an R train man. Is that sort of like when Bruce Springsteen goes back to play The Stone Pony instead of Madison Square Garden? He said you never know who you are going to meet. Which made me think, I've seen a music mogul on the 1 and 2 train.Last month it was the V train on which I spotted the mogul. But so far, never on the E.

Fruit Scented Bubbles

OK - Please tell me why you would combine the scent of fruit with soap? As far as I know, the majority of bubble users are small children who like to put things in their mouths. Now I do not have any degrees in childrearing but to me this sounds like a particularly dumb idea. But then again, I did find them in the dollar store so maybe there were not a top seller.

Target

Target opens at 8 am which is awesome. But today I decided to be fashionably late, arriving at 9 am. Seriously, who would have thought there would be around 50 cars in the lot. Then it dawned on me, they were all probably driving to Target while I was chatting on Facebook. Once I got into the store I realized the bigger difference between me and many of the pseudo-early risers. The problem - I'm seriously old fashion because I get up, take a shower and put on clothes - these people were still wearing their pajamas. Is there a petition circulating to ban adults from wearing PJ's in public because I want to sign it.

Baby Bird

Tonight while dining out I experienced something usually only seen on National Geographic. A mother bird feeding her baby. Not the feathered kind but a human one. The mother was feeding her child with a straw, not in the normal sense but in the eye dropper to a kitten method. She kept dipping the straw into the unknown beverage and then dropping it into the baby's open mouth. The most amazing part of the whole process was the baby was drinking out of a cup, which really made me wonder why mother bird was nourishing the child in this method.

Shoe Shine

Since times are tough, I decided to start shining my own shoes again.  I sat down at the computer to look for directions. Sure I found the standard shine procedure - remove dirt, apply polish, brush, shine. But how boring is that. Luckily I found a more interesting, economical and greener way. Which involves a banana peel.
1. Peel and eat the banana.
2. Rub the inside of the banana peel all over your shoes.
3. Buff with a cloth to remove stray banana pieces.
I love the earth, but this I'm going to have to pass on.