Buy A Ticket Or LEAVE!

I see a lot of different shows. The worse part is purchasing a ticket. How do people think of all the insane questions to ask the poor ticket agent? I just say 2 tickets for what ever date and the best available seats. So far those words have proven magical! But they are up there questioning the seller for what seems like an eternity with such non-sense like "Are the seat cushions soft?" I hope the ticket seller responded by saying "I don't know it depsends on if you have a boney butt!"