Horizontally Please!

Dear Fellow Subway Rider,
You just plopped down next to me, brushing against me in a most inappropriate way. With you weekend bag placed vertically on your lap. I'm unsure what it could contain because it's only Tuesday. Maybe it's your emergency to go bag in case of disaster or per chance you may hope to get lucky at this evenings happy hour and not return home for a few days. What ever your goal, your bag is deeply disturbing to me because it is perched across my and digging into my arm. How easily this could be resolved if you only turned you bag horizontally on your lap inconveniencing a party of one, yourself. Perhaps you might place it on the floor where a bag that size belongs. Alas I will sit here and suffer rather then becoming the Emily Post of the MTA!
Signed,
A concerned passenger