Are the authorities familiar with your menu?

Honestly, I'm not the most adventurous diner. When someone suggested I try oxtail I thought that was exotic. I mean I eat beef, it's really the same thing. So maybe it's my lack of gourmet experience that makes me question the chalk board at a neighborhood restaurant. I have to be honest, it's been there for months. At first I viewed it as a mistake but now maybe it my naivety I need to question. There are a host of names for sandwiches including subs grinder, hoagie, and the po' boy to name a few. But what are "handwiches" and does the police station a few doors down know you are selling them? I'll continue to pass on this dining adventure for now....

Et tu Mercury?

Apparently, Brute is not the only back stabber. Mercury is also up to no good! Many people don't believe in astrology but after this week, I'm a convert. Once Mercury heads into retrograde trouble begins! First, my cell phone got it on the double Ides! I dont know what happened, it just decided it had enough and stopped functioning. Well, the whole phone ceased to exist as I knew it except for the alarm which continued to ring. Next I decided to head out on a road trip but the minute I left the city limits my GPS performed an audition for the Twilight Zone. Even though I continued driving my GPS claimed I was at my former location.   Afer several attempts to repower with no luck I tossed it aside. Eventually, I gave it another try and it went back on which would have been awesome but that bad boy Mercury reared his ugly head and wiped out all my contacts! Unlike Ceasar I refuse to fall!

The Lazy Gourmet

When I was a kid The Galloping Gourmet was on TV. Graham Kerr spent his childhood surround by top European chefs. As an adult he would whip up these great recipes from scratch loaded with butter, cream and fat. Flash forward to 2012 where everyone is looking for the quickest way possible to get dinner on the table. Practically, every food item now comes prepackaged. Even the old standard peanut butter and jelly is to time consuming...Now available in your grocery's freezer...minus the crust. And the celebrity chef's today are horrid. One of them loves to use Ritz crackers in her recipes and another makes lasagna with cottage cheese. My Italian Grandmother is probably haunting them right now!

At the movies

After finding the perfect seat in the theater, a group of party crashers sat behind me. They were talking away and someone screamed at them to be quiet. Then right in the middle of the movie one of them turns to her friends and asks where is the music coming from. It really took every once of restraint for me not to turn around and scream its Nine - A Musical! Must be the theater next to us!

Buy A Ticket Or LEAVE!

I see a lot of different shows. The worse part is purchasing a ticket. How do people think of all the insane questions to ask the poor ticket agent? I just say 2 tickets for what ever date and the best available seats. So far those words have proven magical! But they are up there questioning the seller for what seems like an eternity with such non-sense like "Are the seat cushions soft?" I hope the ticket seller responded by saying "I don't know it depsends on if you have a boney butt!"

It's Called "GOOGLE" Use It!

Everyone is so plugged into technology and yet every day I'm befuddled by the stupidity of some. Seriously, is there a soul alive with out a PDA? If there is I want to meet them. I get asked the most ridiculous questions ever imagined. Today I told someone to order supplies from a big box stationary store and they wrote back an email of several lines asking me if that company had an Internet presence. Should I even answer that? And how can I? When the zombie apocalypse comes I know who's going first! PS I'm embarrased for you!

Reading between the lines...

Does anyone read their emails any more? Today I sent an email at work, it was literally two sentences. Pay close attention because this gets complicated. Sentence One: Attached please find copy of the application. Here's where I do a slight of hand. Sentence Two: Please complete and return with all necessary documentation to my attention. Of course this elicited a response also two sentences. The first: Thank you for your response. And the second: Should I return the application to you? Honestly, should I reply?